And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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