Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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