perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
