I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
