You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
