? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
