mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
