is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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