okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
