A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
