You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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