I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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