you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
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