Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
