So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
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I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
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Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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