Is it normal to miss your booty call?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
