At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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