Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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