he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
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Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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