I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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