you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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