I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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