idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
