I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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