i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
dude. I can hear the air.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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