how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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