Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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