I wannas sexs uuuuu
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My ATM looks so different sober.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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