We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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