My cat gives me a boner
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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