dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
