If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
