Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
