I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
