is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
