At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize