Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
