whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
