Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
