And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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