I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
