he wants to bone in the snuggie
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
