The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
