Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
