this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
