no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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