she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
