i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
