Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
