it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
