Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
