apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize