Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
