im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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