When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
