The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i barfeds in our rink
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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