I'm drive I can fine osifer
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
