sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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