apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
