how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
a search helicopter?!
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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