How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
